Walking into a new jam session as a drummer is like stepping into someone else’s living room… you’ve been invited, but you’re not in charge. It doesn’t matter how much time you’ve spent in the practice room, how fast your hands are, or how “good” a drummer you are. If you don’t carry the right attitude into that space, you’ll find yourself getting kicked out of a jam session or not getting invited back.

Rule #1: It’s Not a Drum Solo With a Backing Band

The first thing any drummer should remember in a jam session with other musicians is not a drum solo with a backing band. It’s a fun environment to connect with other musicians, and your job is to “listen before you speak.” That means locking into the groove, not bulldozing it. If the guitarist is playing soft, moody chords and the vocalist is barely above a whisper, it’s your cue to play with intention, maybe even to play less.

Control Your Volume

Volume control is the quickest way to tell whether a drummer belongs in the room or not. Nobody wants to get into the music only to be blasted out of it by someone who doesn’t understand dynamics. A good drummer can play quietly on the kit and still sound good, especially when feeling out the room with other musicians. They can keep the time alive without taking over the room. The best ones know when to sit back entirely and let a song grow before stepping in.

Don’t overstay your welcome. If you’re invited to “jam” with friends or other musicians, there might even be other drummers waiting to jump in if it’s a big group, two songs, maybe three, then hand it over if that’s the case. 

Respect the Gear

Gear etiquette matters. If someone has offered up their kit, make sure you offer to tear down afterwards so you get the invite back and make great connections. Bring your own sticks, adjust hardware gently, and return it to how you found it. If you break something, say something. Pretending it didn’t happen or blaming the gear makes you look small.

Moral of the story: How good of a player you are doesn’t matter if people don’t like to work with you. In the music world, this relationship usually starts with a quick jam session or meetup, so use it as a way to show your character before anyone even hears you play.

You’re not there to prove you’re the best. You’re there to make the music better. That’s how you stay on the kit and earn everyone’s respect while you do.