Dealing with drunks and odd people at gigs

In the last concert that I attended, there was this lady who was dressed up, and she was dancing her heart away in front of the stage.
The lead singer praised her dance routine. She took the praise as her ticket to go up on the stage and asked the lead singer to dance with the band.
The savvy singer who has been there before immediately replied, "Oh no. You can not dance on the stage. You will hurt yourself".
Thankfully she got the point and that was the end of it.

I had a twist on this experience recently. A band I sub for(and who has given me lots of gigs/$$) asked if I would let someone they auditioned on drums (but did not select) sit in for a few songs. They made this arrangement with him in advance.

Wasn't that nice of them?

Well, they dropped that on me last-minute, and at the show, the guy was one notch below a bull in a china shop. Brought sticks that looked bigger than 2Bs and adjusted my kit (both things without asking). Heavy hitter. BAD technique. In other words, a hack.

I subsequently told the band that I was happy to accommodate them this time, but going forward, if we agree to this situation again, the band will be responsible for anything broken.

They said, "He'll be responsible."

I said, "He's the dishwasher. He's not going to be able to replace an expensive cymbal, and I'm not going after him for the money."

Kind of a stalemate situation that I hope doesn't come up again. It's funny, this band doesn't learn. They had another person "sit in" who then showed up at every show expecting to do so. And he sucked.

I have no idea why they're like this.


Dan

equipmentdork said:

I had a twist on this experience recently. A band I sub for(and who has given me lots of gigs/$$) asked if I would let someone they auditioned on drums (but did not select) sit in for a few songs. They made this arrangement with him in advance.

Wasn't that nice of them?

Well, they dropped that on me last-minute, and at the show, the guy was one notch below a bull in a china shop. Brought sticks that looked bigger than 2Bs and adjusted my kit (both things without asking). Heavy hitter. BAD technique. In other words, a hack.

I subsequently told the band that I was happy to accommodate them this time, but going forward, if we agree to this situation again, the band will be responsible for anything broken.

They said, "He'll be responsible."

I said, "He's the dishwasher. He's not going to be able to replace an expensive cymbal, and I'm not going after him for the money."

Kind of a stalemate situation that I hope doesn't come up again. It's funny, this band doesn't learn. They had another person "sit in" who then showed up at every show expecting to do so. And he sucked.

I have no idea why they're like this.


Dan

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People pleasing and the inability to say 'no', in my experience.

vxla said:

Start tearing down immediately after the last song. Put sticks away, Take cymbals off and remove your snare. It's a great way to say "fuck you" to anyone interested in trying out drums.

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I start tearing down after the last song. I make sure to stash my stick bag before leaving the stage during breaks. It doesn’t look good for me (or the band) to run across the venue, frantically screaming at somebody to stop drumming. Been there, done that.

I played a wedding this weekend that had a LOT of small children. They were all unattended and wandering around. The band made sure that at least one of us was posted by the music gear. Been there, done that.

I’ve never had anybody damage drum gear, but I had the sister of the bride, who was a “famous” vibraphone player from New York, that the wedding coordinator *insisted* sit in for a song or two. Well, she was drunk, and wasn’t playing her best (to put it gracefully), and she glissandoed up and down the vibes several dozen times, which absolutely shredded the yarn on my mallets. No apologies or anything.

Also, I was in a band that was playing a gig, and the lead guitarist insisted that I have his “old drummer friend from high school that he hadn’t seen in 20 years” come up and play a song with them. I said sure. Seemed harmless. Well, this gorilla completely bashed the bajeezus out of my drums and cymbals, played REALLY badly (didn’t groove, sped up and slowed down, botched any fills he attempted, etc…). I was simultaneously thinking, “Man, what a horrible player—he probably hasn’t picked up a stick since high school!” and, “Oh my gawd…MY DRUMS!!!” He smiled and said thanks as he left the stage, completely out of breath. My drumheads and cymbals were okay, but I ended up getting the call a week later (from the singer) that they were letting me go and having that drummer take over.

Suburbankidz said:

Most people are fine, but I've had to deal with a few people that were drunk and wanted to sit in and play my kit, (I gave them strong eye contact and a very firm No!)

Any tips on handling or stopping something that seems to be escalating into a weird zone of conversation or behavior?

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mikyok said:

Sounds like you're dealing with it just fine.

Stand your ground and take no crap

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I’m super late posting to this thread, although I’ve followed it (and the responses) since you posted it, @Suburbankidz. This is always such a tough situation to be in, and I think something that happens to all of us “in-the-trenches” gigging drummers at some point in our careers. On one hand, we’re there to help the venue sell booze/get the crowd going, but don’t always get the support we need when the crowd becomes belligerent.

I copied and highlighted a portion of your original post, as well as @mikyok ’s succinct post because I feel this is the best way to handle these uncomfortable moments. Quick, decisive, strong “NO!”. No other explanation required. Have other bandmates on board to help you out if necessary.

I agree that you handled the original situation perfectly and gave yourself the blueprint for any future uncomfortable interactions in the future. Well done!

RVC said:

On one hand, we’re there to help the venue sell booze/get the crowd going, but don’t always get the support we need when the crowd becomes belligerent

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I try and make friends with security and bar staff. Nothing much just sharing a story, joke or just showing interest. That way if I'm having trouble they may be on my side.

KenDoken said:

I try and make friends with security and bar staff. Nothing much just sharing a story, joke or just showing interest. That way if I'm having trouble they may be on my side.

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^Wise and agreed wholeheartedly!

caddywumpus said:

I start tearing down after the last song. I make sure to stash my stick bag before leaving the stage during breaks. It doesn’t look good for me (or the band) to run across the venue, frantically screaming at somebody to stop drumming. Been there, done that.

I played a wedding this weekend that had a LOT of small children. They were all unattended and wandering around. The band made sure that at least one of us was posted by the music gear. Been there, done that.

I’ve never had anybody damage drum gear, but I had the sister of the bride, who was a “famous” vibraphone player from New York, that the wedding coordinator *insisted* sit in for a song or two. Well, she was drunk, and wasn’t playing her best (to put it gracefully), and she glissandoed up and down the vibes several dozen times, which absolutely shredded the yarn on my mallets. No apologies or anything.

Also, I was in a band that was playing a gig, and the lead guitarist insisted that I have his “old drummer friend from high school that he hadn’t seen in 20 years” come up and play a song with them. I said sure. Seemed harmless. Well, this gorilla completely bashed the bajeezus out of my drums and cymbals, played REALLY badly (didn’t groove, sped up and slowed down, botched any fills he attempted, etc…). I was simultaneously thinking, “Man, what a horrible player—he probably hasn’t picked up a stick since high school!” and, “Oh my gawd…MY DRUMS!!!” He smiled and said thanks as he left the stage, completely out of breath. My drumheads and cymbals were okay, but I ended up getting the call a week later (from the singer) that they were letting me go and having that drummer take over.

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I think you probably dodged a bullet in that situation

Xstr8edgtnrdrmrX said:

I think you probably dodged a bullet in that situation

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Yeah, you’re absolutely right. The guitar player was a bit of a hot head, and I hear that his temper has made himself and his bands unhireable to certain venues.

Here’s a picture of my Ayottes:

KenDoken said:

I try and make friends with security and bar staff. Nothing much just sharing a story, joke or just showing interest. That way if I'm having trouble they may be on my side.

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Easiest and quickest way to make friends with them is by suggesting patrons tip them too as they are also working the venue. They will sure appreciate that (and remember you from then on).

caddywumpus said:

Yeah, you’re absolutely right. The guitar player was a bit of a hot head, and I hear that his temper has made himself and his bands unhireable to certain venues.

Here’s a picture of my Ayottes:

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those Ayottes are killing me!!! Never let them go...unless you want to sell them to me!!!!

caddywumpus said:

My drumheads and cymbals were okay, but I ended up getting the call a week later (from the singer) that they were letting me go and having that drummer take over.

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You were meant to exit that project & I assure you the new "drummer" has made it so that band doesn't get new gigs. Sure...they'll get booked once or twice by a venue, but as soon as the shitty music and lack of time & quality from that "drummer" becomes apparent, they won't be asked back.

Then your buddies will be calling you to return & a fast middle finger will be the answer. They had their chance & blew it with that dumbass.