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Dealing with drunks and odd people at gigs

We have one venue where we'll have some friends come up and play with us, 3rd set only. We pretty much know everyone there, we're as close to a house band as could be, and it's not a free for all, its folks we know and have played with before, or have seen play before. And there's a campground gig we do once or twice a year with many of the same folks there, so it might happen there, too. But that's certainly the exception to the rule. Pretty much it's always a "no" from us.
 
With The Kootz, we will let musician friends sit in, no question, and being a multi-member band, if another member shows up, he will always sit in for a few songs. Also, one of our bass players has a very talented vocalist wife, and she'll get up and do a few tunes as well, usually "Big Yellow Taxi," "Summer of 69" and the ubiquitous "Me & Bobby McGee."

However, we almost never let a civilian sit in, but a few weeks ago, the leader surprisingly let some girl come up and sing, and fortunately, she wasn't bad. He must have been in a good mood.
 
Only a few people are welcome to sit in, and that is to return the same gesture that's been extended to me at their gigs. And that has only been a few.
 
Nowadays the main problem is with singers who want to plug their phone in to the PA and take over the stage to do their karaoke show.
 
Paul Blood said:
Nowadays the main problem is with singers who want to plug their phone in to the PA and take over the stage to do their karaoke show.
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that sounds like something that could happen in between breaks, as long as it was planned, but I could definitely see where that would be annoying if it was unplanned
 
Had a very drunk lady insist she play my drums at a wedding gig last night during a scheduled break in the set.

It’s clear my usual response to “why not?” when I say no isn’t working as when I used my usual retort “how about I go for a spin in your car?” Was met yet again with a “yes, you can”

This happened during a break in the set where most people were gathered outside to the marque to watch some fireworks.

She didn’t even know the bride and groom, didn’t care about causing noise during the special moment for them / their guests / the people who were there to film it.

Just wanted to bash away on my kit like some drunken goblin, insistent I give her my sticks.

Was even complaining / swearing loudly about some of the bride and grooms choices for the day to some random drummer.

Good luck to her fella, she was an absolute nightmare.
 
I've had a couple of times people asked if they could play my drums and I politely declined.

One of the strangest was at a gig in a big warehouse for a company.
During a break a kid around 12 or 13 comes up and more or less invites himself to play, saying he's the next Neil Peart or whatever.
I politely say no, he goes away and returns with his dad.
Apparently the dad had some senior job at the company, also play drums and tries more pressure to let him play as we play at 'his' warehouse.
I'm a lefty and they were about ready start messing up my kit.
I say 'I already said no' and my band members back me up saying we don't let others sit in.
They were quiet for a while and finally left, but had an angry look on their faces the entire gig.

Screw them, go get your own gigs, I won't bother you then to let me play.
 
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eric_B said:
Screw them, go get your own gigs, I won't bother you then to let me play.
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Fully agree. I had the same thing last year, someone came up to me saying his friend wants to sit in and play, that he’s played 02 Arena, he’s a great drummer. It was a resounding no. For the rest of the set they were shaking their heads, I could tell they were criticising/mocking me. I just thought, well I’m the one being paid here.

There’s 3 things I do which work for me:

1. I host an open mic every Monday, so with most of my gigs being a Friday/Saturday I invite them to the open mic night a few days later where they can play the exact same kit. None of them ever take me up on the offer.

2. Hide my sticks when I’m away from the kit. People who take it upon themselves to play my kit, without asking, while I’m outside having a break soon get bored when all they can use are their feet.

3. I’m always polite to people but if they keep asking, or even worse, try asking during a song, I start playing with huge motions with my arms/sticks, they soon back away as they realise I’m about to swipe them with a stick!
 
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Years ago, my friends and I were jamming at a local bar. During our break some random drunk walked up and sat down at my kit. I immediately ran up there and loudly said "Get up!". He started to say something and again I yelled "GET UP!"
He stood up, dropped his head, and walked away. Never saw him the rest of the night.

Some people are clueless and rude. When they're drunk on top of it, the stupidity is on another level.
 
This thread reminds me of a live onstage incident that is similar, but different from the others listed so far. One night my band and I were just jamming along onstage at a bar. I usually keep an eye on the bass player because he and I give a lot of body language/eye contact to drive the music. At one point, right in the middle of a song, a woman gets up on stage, wraps her lovely arms around the bass player’s neck and starts making out with him – tongue and all - right in the middle of a song. Like a pro, the bass player just keeps on playing and kissing/sucking face with this woman and never loses a beat. I’m sure he was giving googly eyes to her during the set, but he swears he did not know who she was! Fun stuff…
 
Suburbankidz said:
I've just started gigging with a band in the last six months and need some advice from more experienced drummers on how to deal with drunks and odd people that come up to talk to you during the break or at the end of the night. Most people are fine, but I've had to deal with a few people that were drunk and wanted to sit in and play my kit, (I gave them strong eye contact and a very firm No!) or one person who had a screw loose mentally and talked endlessly and the conversation got stranger and stranger. I finally said I was trying to load out, and they followed me out into the street while I was loading my gear. Very creepy. My band mates helped with the load out and eventually this odd person, who was now being ignored, went away.

Any tips on handling or stopping something that seems to be escalating into a weird zone of conversation or behavior?
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You must make friends with the bouncers, they can nudge those people away from the band without you having to get involved and gently warn them against harassing the band and or patrons too. When someone asks if they can play your kit just tell them it is not your kit and that you are borrowing it from a friend so you can't just let anyone use it. And finally to the ones that follow you outside, talk to them but without looking at them, just keep loading your gear and even ignore some of the things they are saying, they will get the message.
 
BobC said:
I could write a long article about dealing with drunks and weird people at gigs. Here's just one example.

I was doing a few fill-in gigs with a band in PA called The Real Deal, a blues/rock trio. To put it mildly, they were not the "real deal" at all. The guitarist was an oddball who left out entire sections of songs at will, and the bass player was a damaged ex-NYC cop who had to take multiple meds every day to retain his sanity, according to him. He seemed like he could go off at any minute.

I got to one of the gigs first and started setting up. Some guy at the bar came over to talk to me. At first it was OK, but he wouldn't go away. I kept giving him short answers to his endless questions, hoping he'd return to the bar and his girlfriend, but he just stood there practically on top of me. Finally, I said that I had to concentrate on setting up the drums and I'd talk to him later, so he left.

Five minutes later, he was back again, asking me more questions and asking me to drink with him. I don't drink on gigs generally, and politely told him that. His response was, "Are you a reformed alcoholic?" I had to explain to this guy that I was filling in with this band and had to be sharp to play the music right. He didn't seem to understand, but finally walked back to the bar. I'm sure he meant well, but at the same time, what he was doing was unnerving and annoying. When I'm setting up the drums, I'm in my zone and want to be left alone. Don't bother me!
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I've told this story before, but one of my gigs there was a huge mosh pit, (mostly friends of ours but a few that just went there that night) one of my friends took an elbow to the face and got a nosebleed, he got out of the mosh pit, placed himself beside me and was head banging dripping blood all over my hi hats, then he proceeded to take my beer! that was it, I Sparta kicked him out of stage. (he wasn't even mad).
On another gig with the same band , we were playing in a skating ramp which was adjacent to a second ramp, the whole gig we had people literally flying above my drums (and lucky for me landing back on the other ramp). I wish I had video of that because from the audience perspective it looked quite cool. Not only that, a few of the guys there were quite stoned and those are harder to deal with. lucky for me, we had about 10 friends that were roading for us so we were not bothered by the crazies.
I have had people get on my face (literally within kissing distance) to tell me their life story, I move back and when they attempt to creep closer, I just hold my hand to stop them ( I don't push them I just hold my hand) if they meet my hand then I tell them that is enough I don't like people closer to me than that, unless they are really hot strippers or my wife. I don't like fights and I avoid them as much as possible and it is not because I am scared, well it is but not scared for myself, I am scared of maiming some fool that underestimates me. That and going to jail for being stupid.
 
My gig days are behind me for the most part, but when I was playing NO ONE touched my kit. 'Does that look like a $600 Export? It's Not and I trust NO ONE to play it.' Being firm right up front typically works the best.

Also - I never would play anywhere without a direct discussion with the club owner that no one sits in, and we expect security to deal with any drunks / mentally ill types quickly. I witnessed this a couple of times. Booze and mental instability = lots of problems.

Anyone ever been in a gig where the drunks start throwing things on stage? One gig many moons ago, our lead guitarist looked like a heavyweight UFC champ. One guy threw something at him, he stopped, set his guitar down and chased this guy out of the club, down the street until the drunk tripped and split his head open on the concrete. That was the last time they saw that guy.

I feel truly sorry for people whose lives are so pathetic that they hand out in bars looking for 'sit in attention.' Sad.
 
Start tearing down immediately after the last song. Put sticks away, Take cymbals off and remove your snare. It's a great way to say "fuck you" to anyone interested in trying out drums.
 
Around about 2008 I'm at a local venue and a band turns up to do a gig. Unfortunately for them, their lead singer had become quite unwell that afternoon but they'd committed to it and really wanted to play. Mainly mainstream metal covers.

They let members of the other bands come up and sing for them. Everyone knew what was happening and everybody had a great time. Three of the band I was in (including me) got up to sing Enter Sandman. Our lead guitarist tried out some death metal style vocals. It was hilarious.

That is probably the only circumstance when a sit-in was welcome and everybody had a good time.
 
I like the idea of manning the merch table while sitting on your throne with your stick bag leaning up against your leg.

You would think that the statement "I'm going to politely decline" would work most of the time.

There are times and places where sitting in is acceptable and expected - jam nights for instance. Not every gig is a jam and I have a beater drum kit and cymbals for hosting jam nights.

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vxla said:
Start tearing down immediately after the last song. Put sticks away, Take cymbals off and remove your snare. It's a great way to say "fuck you" to anyone interested in trying out drums.
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I do anyway, my work is done, Cinderella leaves the ball at midnight unless paid a lot more to do otherwise and nobody touches the kit either way.
Syncopated_1 said:
My gig days are behind me for the most part, but when I was playing NO ONE touched my kit. 'Does that look like a $600 Export? It's Not and I trust NO ONE to play it.' Being firm right up front typically works the best.

Anyone ever been in a gig where the drunks start throwing things on stage? One gig many moons ago, our lead guitarist looked like a heavyweight UFC champ. One guy threw something at him, he stopped, set his guitar down and chased this guy out of the club, down the street until the drunk tripped and split his head open on the concrete. That was the last time they saw that guy.

I feel truly sorry for people whose lives are so pathetic that they hand out in bars looking for 'sit in attention.' Sad.
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We get the have a go hero egomaniacs at weddings too. Had one the other week and it's always the same. "I'm an artist can I do a song with you guys" this idiot even had the bride and groom send the link to his website through to us. The reply still ended in no and we had a good old laugh at his crappy youtube videos too.

For drunks it's a zero tolerance policy, you throw anything on stage gig is over, fall on any equipment gig is over (best be able to handle yourself if you do any of those two). walk on stage music stops until you get off it.

I've found using an electric kit works for keeping the idiots away, so far anyway!
 
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