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How long is too long to hear back from a band you auditioned for?

TK-421 said:
Just to be clear, they never said anything about auditions stretching until July until I finally relented and texted the bassist yesterday. So for over 3 weeks I was kept completely in the dark. If they would have said that during my audition, that would have set expectations and I would have simply waited until July to hear back. I get giving other drummers they've spoken with a fair shot, but at the same time, keeping me in the dark for such a long period of time (without expectations set from the beginning) is what irked me, given how strong my audition was.

The thing is, the longer I have to wait, the less I'm into the whole thing. It's like a huge red flag, or at least just a turn-off. Part of me just wants them to pick someone else.
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it is a representation of their professionalism...how they manage their lineup and communications...all very important flags to pay attention to when considering joining a project.

what happens when its time to be paid?...same flakiness?
 
TK-421 said:
Just to be clear, they never said anything about auditions stretching until July until I finally relented and texted the bassist yesterday. So for over 3 weeks I was kept completely in the dark. If they would have said that during my audition, that would have set expectations and I would have simply waited until July to hear back. I get giving other drummers they've spoken with a fair shot, but at the same time, keeping me in the dark for such a long period of time (without expectations set from the beginning) is what irked me, given how strong my audition was.

The thing is, the longer I have to wait, the less I'm into the whole thing. It's like a huge red flag, or at least just a turn-off. Part of me just wants them to pick someone else.
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Got it! I think you're probably right then. Do whatever you feel best doing. If it seems like they are a little sketchy about this process, then they may be sketchy about a few other things like this too. Only you are able to catch a vibe off of these folks. If something seems a little off, then avoid it.
 
Send a courtesy thank you letter via email and express your sincere interest, if you have not already. That way you have followed up but not in an obnoxious way. It's a job interview like any other. They should at least let you know if you're still in contention or the spot has been filled.
 
Syncopated_1 said:
Send a courtesy thank you letter via email and express your sincere interest, if you have not already. That way you have followed up but not in an obnoxious way. It's a job interview like any other. They should at least let you know if you're still in contention or the spot has been filled.
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Oh yeah, I forgot to mention I did that the day after my audition. He responded by thanking me for learning the tunes and said they had a few more drummers to play with before they decided. That was on May 31. And that was the last I'd heard from him before I finally decided to reach out again yesterday. While he never said how long the other auditions would take, I was thinking maybe a couple weeks, or 3 at the most. Apparently not. Personally, I think he should have given me some sort of time frame just to set expectations. Because otherwise, 3+ weeks is kind of a long time to be kept in the dark.
 
PorkPieGuy said:
Maybe it's my age or experience or whatever, but I wouldn't think that this band is doing anything wrong or disrespectful here.

Not to be an a-hole, but my calendar says it's still June, and they said they'd be back with you in July. Even if you nailed the audition and they love you to death, they may have agreed to audition these two other people before they even met you, so even if they know they are going with you as their drummer, they are keeping their word to these other drummers to give them a chance. To me, this shows great character on their part.

Also, some people's schedules are absolutely crazy during the summer, and it's hard to schedule anything with anyone, so lining up auditions during this season can be next-to impossible. People have lives outside of music; there are A LOT of moving parts we are all dealing with, and sometimes we need to extend people some grace.

Another point is that if they do go with someone else, this is actually good news in my opinion. I don't ever want to play with people who don't want me for whatever reason. Believe me when I say it's much better to be at home crashing on the couch watching cat videos on a Saturday night than to be gigging with people who don't want you there.

Have patience my friend!
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Agree with all of this, but you must also agree that the time line is way too long, is not like he was auditioning for Metallica or something that big.
(Dream Theater auditions lasted one week I believe)
Yes people schedules get fuller during the summer time, but them not considering his time IS disrespectful. At least tell him "We are going to audition a couple more guys this week, then the singer will be out of town for a couple more weeks and when he gets back we will audition the last couple of guys" That would be frank and to the point and more professional than just "we get back to you in July". What if he waits all that time and is told "Sorry someone else got the gig" So now you expect him to just sit there and turn down other possibly good gigs and just be ok with it. hardly seems fair to him. But again it goes back to those who want to make drumming their career have to put up with stuff like that from time to time.
 
Duck Tape said:
I can’t imagine taking cameras into auditions and rehearsals, I’m sure the people I have played with would openly tell me that was weird.

I wouldn’t dream of calling out the band leader for contradicting himself, I would rather work than be right, I think that’s why everyone else remained neutral.
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Nobody that I ever played with would think it was weird. If they do explain to me why. My reason is to revisit the rehearsal on my own time to do better for the next one. (Valid reason if I may say so). What reason could they have to object? Is not like I am going to post that anywhere without their knowledge or permission. (That is clarified beforehand of course).
 
Duck Tape said:
I can’t imagine taking cameras into auditions and rehearsals, I’m sure the people I have played with would openly tell me that was weird.

I wouldn’t dream of calling out the band leader for contradicting himself, I would rather work than be right, I think that’s why everyone else remained neutral.
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Trust me I didn't call him, he called me for "missing the queue" when in reality he asked me to play like the recording, (which I did) and when he would call me out on those "mistakes" I would say "I thought it was x measures and then the change" then he would argue that it was incorrect, so we listened to the tape to be on the same page not to prove him wrong. (I did proved him wrong but that was not why we went to the tape).
I'm sorry but I rather not play with someone who can accept when he is wrong and shifts blame on others and on top of that keeps changing what he just changed!. How can we get past a few songs when the songs are never finished because of the constant changes??
 
doggyd69b said:
Trust me I didn't call him, he called me for "missing the queue" when in reality he asked me to play like the recording, (which I did) and when he would call me out on those "mistakes" I would say "I thought it was x measures and then the change" then he would argue that it was incorrect, so we listened to the tape to be on the same page not to prove him wrong. (I did proved him wrong but that was not why we went to the tape).
I'm sorry but I rather not play with someone who can accept when he is wrong and shifts blame on others and on top of that keeps changing what he just changed!. How can we get past a few songs when the songs are never finished because of the constant changes??
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I would just let him have the final say in rehearsal and then on the gig play it like the record, if he brought it up say “Whoops! I thought it was 4 bars like the record!”

I’ll bet the rest of the band realize he’s like this and they would have your back if he tried to make an example of you.
 
Duck Tape said:
I would just let him have the final say in rehearsal and then on the gig play it like the record, if he brought it up say “Whoops! I thought it was 4 bars like the record!”

I’ll bet the rest of the band realize he’s like this and they would have your back if he tried to make an example of you.
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They did have my back even during the rehearsals, I was not argumentative, I was just wanting to make sure I was not losing my mind. The guitar player and bass player agreed with me, the singer was lost all the time but improving, and the band lead just kept changing things all the time. I did let him have the final say but then (and this is why recording the rehearsal came in handy) he would say "Ok we are going to play this with only 3 bars" and we would comply, the next rehearsal it would be "No I thought we agreed to play 4 bars" (What I had originally said it was). I could see the guitar player was annoyed but again didn't say much. I don't like confrontation but I also don't stay silent when saying something could fix things.
I said I was glad that he got a "more agreeable" drummer and I wish him luck.
I'm not even upset, I would be struggling to make practices these days because I have gotten so busy with my wife's business that I barely have time even play at my house. But even if I had the time, I would not want to be subjected to a band leader who doesn't know what he wants.
 
doggyd69b said:
They did have my back even during the rehearsals, I was not argumentative, I was just wanting to make sure I was not losing my mind. The guitar player and bass player agreed with me, the singer was lost all the time but improving, and the band lead just kept changing things all the time. I did let him have the final say but then (and this is why recording the rehearsal came in handy) he would say "Ok we are going to play this with only 3 bars" and we would comply, the next rehearsal it would be "No I thought we agreed to play 4 bars" (What I had originally said it was). I could see the guitar player was annoyed but again didn't say much. I don't like confrontation but I also don't stay silent when saying something could fix things.
I said I was glad that he got a "more agreeable" drummer and I wish him luck.
I'm not even upset, I would be struggling to make practices these days because I have gotten so busy with my wife's business that I barely have time even play at my house. But even if I had the time, I would not want to be subjected to a band leader who doesn't know what he wants.
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This sounds identical to the band leader I just left. He'd forget words to the song, screw up a solo, hit the wrong switch on his foot pedal, and it was always somehow my fault. At first it was high comedy. The bassist and I just laughed off the little tantrums.

Two years later, I had had enough. We weren't playing out largely because this guy was a jerk to everyone; not just the band.
 
A J said:
This sounds identical to the band leader I just left. He'd forget words to the song, screw up a solo, hit the wrong switch on his foot pedal, and it was always somehow my fault. At first it was high comedy. The bassist and I just laughed off the little tantrums.

Two years later, I had had enough. We weren't playing out largely because this guy was a jerk to everyone; not just the band.
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Life is too short to put up with someone's drama and ego.
 
TK-421 said:
That’s more or less what I was thinking, which is why I’m a little peeved. But apparently I’m still in the running, so who knows?

BTW, if I were interested in someone whose audition was absolutely spot on, I’d want to snag them right away.
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You have every reason to be disappointed in this band. Like others have said, the ball is in their court; not yours. Your only viable option is to wait for them to make their move. If they do offer you the gig, you'll have to pause and consider whether you even want to be in this band.
 
A J said:
You have every reason to be disappointed in this band. Like others have said, the ball is in their court; not yours. Your only viable option is to wait for them to make their move. If they do offer you the gig, you'll have to pause and consider whether you even want to be in this band.
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If they offer you the gig, I guess the next step is to set expectations (from both sides) from the get go so that there is no confusion. If those expectations are not met by either you or them, then part was amicably, you know so as not to burn bridges later. No hurt feelings, that is how adults should deal with things.
 
If it happens it happens. What else can you do, tell them to shove it?
It would have been nice if they'd kept you in the loop, let you know they had a couple of other drummers to audition.
However there is no rule on how long it takes. You can kill at an audition, then they can hire someone else, realise thy made a mistake 6 or 12 months later and get back in touch with you.
Top notch gigs can take an age to resolve. I don't think it's a reflection on this band. If anything it shows they really care and they want to make sure they make the right decision about a new drummer.
Just stop thinking about it - is my advice.
 
Chris Whitten said:
Just stop thinking about it - is my advice.
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^^^ I think this pretty much sums it up - for me as well. ^^^

We've all got time to consider and reconsider the circumstances of the perceived delay, but only the band knows and so far, they've only given sketchy details.

It could have been anything from a death in the family to a lame band "leader" or anything in between - we just don't know.

I sure wish they'd be more concerned about the drummer(s) they've seemingly "got on a string" but apparently they aren't - and as others have mentioned, that may be a tell-tale sign also.

Relax, take it in stride and don't fret (sorry, wrong euphemism ;)) if they are lowering your expectations with each passing day. It just might be a blessing in disguise.
 
doggyd69b said:
I recommend getting a Zoom qn2 camera and record your next audition.
it is small enough that you can place it anywhere and just record and it is designed to record live bands too so your audio at least will be decent, and once the audition is over, when you are back home you can watch their reactions and be much more aware of what really happened.
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I once had an audition for a funk/soul band which apparently was inspired by Henry Ford.
When I arrived, there were 2 guys waiting and 2 more arrived shorlty after me.
They turned out to be drummers as well. Oddly, we were not told before there would be an audition session with multiple drummers.

The music room was dark with one spotlight aimed at the drums, as well as a big camera.
There was no (informal) talk or whatever, we were told we should play the (same) 3 songs on camera and then they would decide later which drummers performed best and would be invited for another audition.

I wished them good luck, told them they were not the right fit for me and left.
They should have put in the ad they didn't care about a drummer as a person, only his or her performance skills.
Not my idea of a fun band. Go buy a Linndrum or 808.
 
doggyd69b said:
Agree with all of this, but you must also agree that the time line is way too long, is not like he was auditioning for Metallica or something that big.
(Dream Theater auditions lasted one week I believe)
Yes people schedules get fuller during the summer time, but them not considering his time IS disrespectful. At least tell him "We are going to audition a couple more guys this week, then the singer will be out of town for a couple more weeks and when he gets back we will audition the last couple of guys" That would be frank and to the point and more professional than just "we get back to you in July". What if he waits all that time and is told "Sorry someone else got the gig" So now you expect him to just sit there and turn down other possibly good gigs and just be ok with it. hardly seems fair to him. But again it goes back to those who want to make drumming their career have to put up with stuff like that from time to time.
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In the response to this post I made, the OP said he didn't feel good about it and reframed it for me (as you did as well), and it makes a lot more sense. I like what you said with this:
"We are going to audition a couple more guys this week, then the singer will be out of town for a couple more weeks and when he gets back we will audition the last couple of guys"
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I thought this was originally the way things went down, but I think I may have misread it. Plus, if something feels funny or not-so-right about any sort of audition process, just walk away. It's not worth it.
 
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