What's new
By:
Filters
Drummerworld Forum

This is a sample guest message. Register a free account today to become a member! Once signed in, you'll be able to participate on this site by adding your own topics and posts, as well as connect with other members through your own private inbox!

Leaving bands

P

PTB

Member
It’s never easy is it? Most of the time I fall out with other band members when I leave because to them it comes out of the blue and it shocks them (I keep my emotions quite hidden)!

With this particular band, we play punk/ska (Ramones, Buzzcocks, Madness) and while I get on well with the guys, my shoulder is playing up after each gig - doing 40 song sets with minimal breaks between songs takes it out of me. I’ve previously torn a ligament so I have to be very careful.

On the flip side, my other band which I am staying with have managed 3 gigs in a day before and I didn’t use up anywhere as much energy and have zero physical issues after the gig. It helps it being a 25 song set, and we play quieter (I play with brushes on some songs).

Anyhow, I’ve committed to see out the year, giving them 6 months notice which I think is fair and I’m determined to leave on good terms.
 
Spreggy said:
Just for the heck of it you might want to talk to a seasoned drum teacher or a physical therapist, there are ways to play loud and crazy without injury.
Click to expand...
Thanks for the reply. I’ll go into more depth in another post sometime.

I had about 9 years of lessons with a renowned drummer in the area, plus a few lessons with a named drummer who played for Oasis/The Who, lessons with someone who played in King Crimson and a lesson from the great Dom Famularo too.

I had greenstick fractures in both wrists as a child which never set back straight so my motion is crooked. I’m registered disabled, add in a later diagnosis of Scheuermann's disease and tbh I’m proud of managing about 40 gigs with them at their tempo/volume 😊

I have regular sports massages and physio on my shoulder/back. It’s a case of managing things as best I can.
 
I think a 40-song set is ridiculous for just about anyone (but that's just me).

Giving plenty of notice is a good thing. I'd also tell them if they find someone before then, they are more than welcome to take some gigs from you just to try them out.
 
PorkPieGuy said:
I think a 40-song set is ridiculous for just about anyone (but that's just me).

Giving plenty of notice is a good thing. I'd also tell them if they find someone before then, they are more than welcome to take some gigs from you just to try them out.
Click to expand...

Thanks for the reply PorkPieGuy, yep it’s a long set….I mean each song is about 2 and a half minutes but even so it’s a long night.

I still enjoy it but to the others in the band that’s their one gig each month. I have on average another 12 gigs a month with my other band.

Thanks for the tip - have suggested another drummer is welcome to ‘try before they buy’ they’ve already had quite a bit of interest.
 
But back on topic... Yeah, leaving is tough. I've come close a more than a few times to leaving the longest running band I'm in due to my personal frustration with quality. Sometimes we do great and it's really fun. Others, I just shake my head and can't believe it. Compared to the other bands I'm in it can be like driving a bread truck vs. a sports car. They're good guys and we only play out once a month so on balance I've stayed with it. ...and because, leaving is tough.
 
  • Like
Reactions: PTB
Our jazz sets are 45-75 minutes and anywhere from 9-15 tunes per set. 40 song sets? What??? You mean 40 total for gig?
 
  • Like
Reactions: PTB
You've handled this like a pro.

You're listening to your body. Ska can get fast and very high energy. A 40 song set is a lot crazy!
 
  • Like
Reactions: PTB
Rattlin' Bones said:
Our jazz sets are 45-75 minutes and anywhere from 9-15 tunes per set. 40 song sets? What??? You mean 40 total for gig?
Click to expand...
A 40-tune gig total isn't that far off for 3 hours. Blues bands I have been in generally had 12-15 songs per set. I liked the two-set gigs best. Three sets 40+ songs yes they were a bear to get through at my advanced age lol.
 
Spreggy said:
Just for the heck of it you might want to talk to a seasoned drum teacher or a physical therapist, there are ways to play loud and crazy without injury.
Click to expand...
I used to play 4 hour gigs with lots of movement (a la Tommy Lee), and not once did I experienced any shoulder pain. I don't know how the OP plays but maybe a lot more wrist needs to be involved. You most certainly can play just as loud with just wrist movements and zero arm movement.
As I have said before you can only make a drum sound so loud (without microphones) so going overboard to try is unnecessary. You don't need to quit the band you just need to adjust your technique.
 
  • Like
Reactions: PTB
PorkPieGuy said:
I think a 40-song set is ridiculous for just about anyone (but that's just me).

Giving plenty of notice is a good thing. I'd also tell them if they find someone before then, they are more than welcome to take some gigs from you just to try them out.
Click to expand...
One of the bands I played with had 25 original songs, which we played every time we gigged, but in between, inevitably, the audience would ask for "Slayer" or "Metallica" or "Pantera" so we played some of those songs too, then we realized we had played for over 2 hrs without a break and we were half way on the list... so... we took a 10 min break and went back to finish the gig. I used to play some very fast songs (that I can still play but man, it blows my mind how I could do those blast beats (way before they were even called blast beats). like I said, I can still play them but I have to focus now because of the speed and stamina needed, I am not a spring chicken anymore, but I never got injured either.
 
  • Like
Reactions: PTB
ottog1979 said:
But back on topic... Yeah, leaving is tough. I've come close a more than a few times to leaving the longest running band I'm in due to my personal frustration with quality. Sometimes we do great and it's really fun. Others, I just shake my head and can't believe it. Compared to the other bands I'm in it can be like driving a bread truck vs. a sports car. They're good guys and we only play out once a month so on balance I've stayed with it. ...and because, leaving is tough.
Click to expand...
Call me a stickler (or worse) but I demand that any gig we play we give it our best, and I know mistakes are going to happen and sometimes someone had a bad day, but to me the audience doesn't care and they don't know if you don't feel well, they are there to have a good time (and they are supporting your band so the least you can do is give them their money's worth). The second thing I frown upon is diva attitudes, I don't care who you are, you are NOT going to disrespect the band members or the audience with stupid antics.
And the final think that I frown upon is tunning on stage at full volume. Nothing is more unprofessional to me than a band that hits the stage, then spends the next 15 minutes setting up. If you are hitting the stage, it better be 30 seconds max and the band should be playing, or at a minimum the singer should be engaging the audience while the guitar players and bassist do a quick SILENT tune but nothing longer than that. So, my experience with bands I have gigged with has been mostly the same, I set my expectations before the gig and if those are not met, I just leave simple, no hurt feelings. I don't think I expect anything too unreasonable. The only thing is you have to be sure you set those expectations from the beginning so that there is no finger pointing later.
 
PTB said:
Anyhow, I’ve committed to see out the year, giving them 6 months notice which I think is fair and I’m determined to leave on good terms.
Click to expand...
Best of luck on the six months. I left a band last year that I gave six months notice. It was quite awkward. Luckily at the five month mark they had a new drummer that was ready to take over. I was quite happy when they asked if I was OK with their new drummer taking the last two booked gigs (New Years Eve and New Years Day levy). It was a relief to be done with the band.

Interpersonal relationships can be difficulty and since I do not play to support myself, when it is no longer fun, it is time to leave.
 
mikyok said:
You've handled this like a pro.

You're listening to your body. Ska can get fast and very high energy. A 40 song set is a lot crazy!
Click to expand...
Thank you….some of the Bad Manners and Specials stuff we play is incredibly fast. A lot of songs we are going back to back, finish one song straight into the next.
 
Ironjim55 said:
Best of luck on the six months. I left a band last year that I gave six months notice. It was quite awkward. Luckily at the five month mark they had a new drummer that was ready to take over. I was quite happy when they asked if I was OK with their new drummer taking the last two booked gigs (New Years Eve and New Years Day levy). It was a relief to be done with the band.

Interpersonal relationships can be difficulty and since I do not play to support myself, when it is no longer fun, it is time to leave.
Click to expand...
Thank you, yes I’ve suggested any new drummer can take some of the remaining gigs (after this Saturday I have 5 left with the band), they are all fairly mature guys and never had an issue on a personal level with them so hopefully it stays that way.
 
Thanks everyone for the replies. Lots of good comments and advice.

There’s a few mentioned me and my technique. I should’ve put in my original post I’m restricted somewhat - I have two crooked/locked wrists from a childhood injury and I’m disabled as I have something called Scheuermann's disease. It’s not really a matter of working at it and using more wrist - I can physically only move my wrists so much. I had around 250 drum lessons with 5 different teachers and none of them could help me fix my wrists. Neither could the NHS. They would all agree it’s a case of adapting as best I can, in the same way there’s been many musicians who’ve had to adapt due to injuries (Tony Iommi, Django Reinhardt, Rick Allen)

One thing that was a game changer for me was my main drum teacher getting me to switch from matched grip to traditional grip. My left hand is quite good in grad grip.

I’ll post a video sometime soon to better explain it all.
 
doggyd69b said:
Call me a stickler (or worse) but I demand that any gig we play we give it our best, and I know mistakes are going to happen and sometimes someone had a bad day, but to me the audience doesn't care and they don't know if you don't feel well, they are there to have a good time (and they are supporting your band so the least you can do is give them their money's worth). The second thing I frown upon is diva attitudes, I don't care who you are, you are NOT going to disrespect the band members or the audience with stupid antics.
And the final think that I frown upon is tunning on stage at full volume. Nothing is more unprofessional to me than a band that hits the stage, then spends the next 15 minutes setting up. If you are hitting the stage, it better be 30 seconds max and the band should be playing, or at a minimum the singer should be engaging the audience while the guitar players and bassist do a quick SILENT tune but nothing longer than that. So, my experience with bands I have gigged with has been mostly the same, I set my expectations before the gig and if those are not met, I just leave simple, no hurt feelings. I don't think I expect anything too unreasonable. The only thing is you have to be sure you set those expectations from the beginning so that there is no finger pointing later.
Click to expand...
30 seconds to unpack gear, get all electronics set up, sound check? What?
 
PTB said:
doing 40 song sets with minimal breaks between songs takes it out of me. I’ve previously torn a ligament so I have to be very careful.
Click to expand...
40 song sets!!?? How many sets of these? That rivals most wedding bands.

F-THAT!! At 55 years old, I'll leave those marathon bands to the youngsters & enjoy my 2-3 gigs a month job.

I was in a very popular cover band in my town & the bass player & I didn't get along musically. I was there a year before I really needed to find an exit to that project. Left on good terms (I'm now in a band with the guitar player from, and still is, in that band), and all is well.

I go to their shows & he & I talk regularly. He's a good dude, phenominal bass player with a great work ethic. We just didn't see eye-to-eye on how the songs should be done. I was never tight enough, used the wrong dynamics or just wasn't up to his "standards".

Either way, I'm happy I left. As you should be if you know you should.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top